Coronavirus Pandemic Update

Hello again my Child Life Families,

I pray that all of my Child Life Pediatrics families are still well and safe.

In the wake of the Coronavirus Pandemic, I have become more and more aware, both personally and professionally, of the toll it has taken on us all…
When I say this, I am speaking of how this pandemic pulled the rug out from under us, thrusted us into a “new normal” and has forced us to appreciate how fragile our lives truly are. For some of us, this adjustment has caused us to feel less secure, fearful, anxious.

I confess that I have felt the insecurity, the anxiety and the fear. I have prayed about it but I still find myself sometimes feeling the uncertainty of what is to come and that feeling is NOT a comfortable one. As a pediatrician, I could not help but to wonder what this is doing to the spirits of our precious children. Therefore, I decided to offer` you some guidance that hopefully will help you to emotionally and mentally navigate your young ones through this unprecedented time.

Here are some useful suggestions that I thought might be helpful to you.

* First and foremost, please allow yourself to feel. We are human beings with human emotions. Whatever you feel, you are not wrong to feel it. It is normal to feel fear, anxiety, vulnerability and frustration at times like this. However, we must try our best not to get lost in those feelings… we have to find a way to cope. I have a suggestion… I have made no secret to all of you that I am a praying woman. My prayer time helps me to face each day thankful, faithful and calm. I respect all religions and spiritual practices. Please allow yourselves some time to pray, worship, meditate, practice mindfulness, etc. Focusing on this Coronavirus entity is debilitating. Please take some time each day to focus inwardly. This will help to clear your mind and refocus on a power higher than us that can take us through this and ease our fears, doubts and concerns in the meantime. Your children will learn to do this from you. This is a valuable lesson, teaching them, by your example, that this is a valuable way to cope with this and any future challenges that life may bring.

* Practice frequent emotional check-ins. Check in with your child often and make time to ask what they are feeling and be ready and willing to listen to what they have to say. Listen carefully to how they are feeling…. listen without interrupting. Validate their feelings and let them know that you understand. Good communication is essential to their emotional well-being during this time. If you check in with them on a regular basis, it makes them feel safer and more secure. Truly good listening validates their feelings and can reassure and relax them. This regular practice of having these conversations also encourages children to be better communicators in adulthood.

* Be honest. Speak to them about the virus. Let them know that it is scary for everyone but be careful not to dwell on the fear aspect. In addition, there are a lot of rumors out there about Coronavirus and you do not want your children to be misinformed or getting information from their peers instead of you. The pandemic is real, it is poorly understood and difficult to control. However, try to encourage your children to focus on what they CAN control… eating healthy, drinking lots of water, exercise, taking vitamins, washing hands, social distancing, wearing masks, to name a few. Controlling what you CAN control not only can prevent spread of the virus but it gives us an opportunity to focus our minds on prevention and maintaining good health. This helps to calm anxiety and these control measures keep you healthy…. you can’t go wrong with that!

* Try to avoid watching a lot of television news programs and Internet reports about the doom and gloom of this current situation. The news media has done a great job keeping us informed but the reports can be frightening even for us, as adults. Imagine how that wealth of information can affect the developing minds of our children. Please limit the focus on media reports. My suggestion is to stay abreast with a few moments of media reports per day then focus on something more positive and productive.

* Sort out “what if” from “what is”. Help kids to separate what is currently happening from what they worry about happening. Let them know that you will deal with the “what ifs” if (or when) they come up.

* Allow for some virtual time. I usually do not advocate for screen time for children. However, with our “new normal” virtual time can sometimes be the only way that our kids can connect with friends, cousins, etc.. When I say this, I am referring to Zoom meetings with friends and loved ones (not video games)… Encourage this new normal until we can be together safely again. Limit the duration, of course, but yes, allow it, please.

* Remember that children learn by example, so please be very careful about how you are dealing with YOUR stress in front of them. It is also a good idea to be mindful of your conversations with other people in front of your children. Constantly speaking about how scared you are and how you can’t sleep at night because of what is going on will only feed your child’s fear. Although your personal feelings may be valid, be careful about how you convey your feelings to your child as well as what you say in front of them. On this note, please be mindful of how you communicate about social distancing, wearing masks, etc. You should explain to your child that this is necessary step to stop the spread of germs and to make sure they stay healthy. There is no need to discuss extremes of what could happen to them if they do not wear masks because “extreme wording” can breed fear and anxiety.

* Master the art of distraction. This pandemic and social distancing has left way too much time for our children to worry about a world that they cannot control. Be creative in ways to fill that idle time by taking your children into the backyard to play, reading books together, family board games, charades, to name a few. Many of my young patients have shared that they love the extra time with their parents that they have had during the pandemic. Therefore, please teach your children to embrace and make the most of the extra time. It teaches your children to embrace change and make lemonade when life gives you lemons.

I hope that these suggestions are helpful to you.

Please stay safe and blessed and remember, I am always here for you.

Blessings and love to all,
Robyn Cadet, MD